I turn 50 today. I’m pretty relaxed about it, but it does feel like something of a milestone. I had thought I might do a ’50 thoughts at 50′ post but, let’s face it, I’d struggle to get to 50 and I doubt you’d want to read them.
In musing it, though, I realised there’s only one thing that really matters to me these days. It’s the people around me.
I’ve had an amazing summer, largely because I’ve been reminded of what an incredible group of people I’m privileged to have as family and to call my friends. From late-June and Sarah and Stephen’s beautiful wedding – a celebration of love and friendship as joyous as any I can remember – through a family holiday with my mum, brother, wife and children, an amazing weekend at home celebrating my birthday, and numerous dinners, drinks, and days out with friends who couldn’t make it here.
I feel blessed, but I’d hesitate to say I feel lucky. I’m not a big believer in luck. I believe that most things that happen in life – good or bad – are the result of choices you make (good and bad) and the effort you apply.
Personal relationships are the same. We have a choice regarding those connections we make, and the effort we put into nurturing and sustaining them. Some have deep roots and can withstand a good amount of rough weather; others are younger and require careful cultivation. Some relationships aren’t meant to last, burning intensely for a while before dying out, while others will happily smoulder away for years with the odd poking of the embers (get your mind out of the gutter…). But it’s up to all of us to choose well and make each of them count.
I can’t claim to have always been the best at managing relationships, and I’ve made a few poor choices. But whether personal or professional (and often a mixture of the two) it’s the relationships I have that make my life rewarding. It’s a network that’s evolved, been constantly added to, pruned every now and then, regularly fed and watered (figuratively and literally). And it’s worth it, because it provides me with so many essential things: support, companionship, advice, fun, inspiration, opportunity and love.
There’s one rather important person who I’d love to have been around to celebrate with, and that’s Dad. I miss him, we all do, but he influences me every day, and makes me a better person. Quite often, if I’m stuck with something – in particular in relation to personal relationships – asking myself the question, “what would Dad do?” sets me on the right path.
Dad’s values – fairness, compassion, hard work, respect, kindness, humour – are the ones that, I believe, build the depth of relationships which provide the best force field in life you could wish for.
I’m so grateful for mine. You know who you are, and thanks x