Look hereClaridge’s has apparently turned water into wine.

I don’t care who you are, or how much money you’ve got, if you pay £50 for a litre of mineral water you’re an idiot.  They claim it delivers “a pleasant smooth sensation on the palate”…like most other bottled waters, I guess.  Careful though.  It’s from New Zealand, so it’ll probably make you choke.

Claridge’s food and beverage director says that “water is becoming like wine”.  I’ll take the wine, thanks.  Particularly as at Decanter’s 1999 mineral water blind tasting, the surprise winner was…London tap water.  You can have a jug of that for free at Claridge’s.  I urge you to.

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